Date Rape

No any dating guide would be complete without a discussion of the darkest side of dating: date rape. Also called acquaintance rape. Both terms are misleading and contribute to the misunderstanding of this very serious crime. Rape is rape - a violent felonious assault that is about power, not sex, and that traumatizes and injures the victim. Perhaps even more so when the victim knows his or her attacker.

The definition of date rape is confounded by the pervasive sexual stereotype in the society that men should be the aggressive sexual initiators and women should "play hard to get." Both are dangerous assumptions. And when mixed with alcohol and other controlled substances (often a factor in date rapes), they can be seriously destructive to both parties.

Remember:

1. Rape isn't about sex; it's about power.
2. Rape is anything after the word "No." Anything.

College campuses are particularly vulnerable. According to a controversial 1985 study funded by the National Center for the Prevention and Control of Rape. 25 persent of women in college were victims of rape, and almost 90 persent of them knew their assailants. Of those rapes, 47 persent were by first or casual dates or by romantic acquaintances.